i've always stood on the principle that it does not carry a whit of weight whether you win or lose - your story is told in how you play the hand which you are dealt. in fact, i'll share a secret. i possess a pernicious strain of self-schadenfreude, taking a perverse delight in the arc of my own failures. I wont wallow or whine. I just want to see how bad things can get and how, if at all, i bounce back. birthdays are a perfect example. i want to thank everyone for the warm congrats on my birthday. 37. go figure... i just got a dial-up account for at my new place this afternoon. the stuttering, sputtering 'speed' of a 56k modem is making my spine writhe. i wasnt able to respond to all the flickry friendly goodness, but it was greatly appreciated. more than you know.