Women in Brighton are always looking for environmentally friendly alternatives to the mindless waste of modern life. In other words, they're hippy cunts. But they're hippy cunts with money to spend and I'm not fussy when it comes to cold hard cash. Inspired by the Mooncup, but also mindful of its use of plastic, I decided to try and find an even greener product to swab up the monthly flow. My love of the animal kingdom gave me the perfect answer. For the last few months I have been breeding a particularly placid type of leech/slug hybrid. They don't voraciously suck blood, instead they absorb it through their skin. You shove it up your cunt at the first sign of your period, leave it up there to happily eat its fill. Once the food dries up, the leech will simply plop out into your gusset. The leech will have absorbed enough of the red stuff to survive until the next time you're on the blob. You can just keep him in a little tank, with some leaves to roll around in. Price? A very reasonable £9.99, guaranteed to last at least a year. Almost half the price of a Mooncup and about 100% less disgusting, I'm sure you'll agree. Best viewed LARGE.