I was commissioned to photograph a wedding in Brighton today, another one of those cash in hand jobs that keeps me in glitter and AA batteries. The bride was resplendent with a beard that covered her freshly trimmed groin with the merest hint of modesty. The groom fondled me under the pier, but that's only to be expected form anyone with a pulse. I managed to escape with a couple of gigabytes of XXX end-of-the-pier action, enough cash to keep the bailiff from the door and a slight limp that will last me well until Wednesday. All in all, a most successful day's cunting.