The creche Pippa's kids go to have just been reading Chuck Palahniuk's Guts as part of the Government's literacy campaign. They knew I was a fan too, so asked me along to direct their dramatic interpretation of the piece for Parents' Day. They're not ones to do things by halves - they cast their pet elephant as the narrator. The kids were playing the contents of the intestine, I nearly wore my fingers to the bone sewing carrot-chunk costumes! With minutes to go, they all piled up the elephant's arse, waiting there for the start of the show.Except no one knew that Nelly was constipated and was utterly incapable of taking a shit. The performance was ruined, the parents disappointed and Shhexy was sent off to Asda to buy a fuck load of prunes.We're still waiting.All in all, not a good day.:(