I'm not a rich girl, so since beebo forced me not to terminate my pregnancy, but is a pauper in British terms, as a million dollars is worth approximately tuppence, I've been trying to come up with ideas so that I can afford to bring up our sprog without having to just sell it for parts at a too early an age. The best plan so far is that if I can sufficiently stunt its growth, I can probably get away with only having to buy it any clothes every 4-5 years. So I've enlisted the help of the most stunted fucker on the planet, Ronnie Corbett, to try and achieve my goals. He's been ever so helpful, providing me with a list of chemicals his mother was addicted to during her pregnancy (sniffing glue, mainly, but there is some scope for creativity), some suggestions for moderately traumatic physical exertions (rollercoasters are particularly effective) and a hefty inch-punch to my tummy once a week. Ronnie is my personal placenta puncher, he's been providing this service on the quiet to impoverished women around the world for many years now (you didn't think he got an OBE for his comedy, did you?) and I'm very grateful to him for his help! If you've got ny other money-saving suggestions for a single mum, then please share! Thx. xxx