You know what's been raising my brows, just lately? Family restaurant commercials that have popular Italian arias in the background. They always pick ones like La donna è mobile, which don't have much to do with wholesome family values. (La donna è mobile is a song about the fickleness of women, being sung by a married man who's about to cheat on his wife for, oh, maybe the thousandth time. Another popular commercial jingle is Libiamo ne' lieti calici, which is a nice little exchange between a Parisian courtesan and her admirer.) Now, don't get me wrong--I have no objection to these songs. I love Italian opera. But I do have to wonder if the restaurants using these songs have ANY idea what's accompanying their softly-lit images of happy spaghetti-sucking children and their doting parents. Do they listen to the lyrics, or just throw in something familiar and Italian? Anyhow, this is me lurking under the table in just such a restaurant. I am going to sing a naughty song, steal some food, and maybe stab someone.